CAMERA SHY

Got up early.

Was still dark outside.

Sunrise.

Went for hike.

Brought camera.

Thought:  I should take pictures.

Have had it in my head lately that I should take at least one photo a day.

Get into photography more.

So I bring the camera.

I’m walking.

I see some graffiti. 

It says:  EAT THE RICH.

I pull out my camera.

But the battery is dead.

I think to myself:  Goddammit.

**

I get home an hour later.

I charge the battery a bit.

I run up to the grocery store on the corner to get some provisions.

I bring the camera.

Thinking to myself:  I’ll take some photos inside the grocery store.  Wouldn’t that be interesting?

But then I get self-conscious.

I feel strange.

I can’t bring myself to pull out the camera and start taking pictures in the grocery store.

I’m worried about what people might think.

I see a security guard in the store.

I feel like he’s casing me.

(He’s not.)

I’ve got this camera in my pocket.

I keep thinking:  Just take it out.  Just take some pictures.

I decide I’ll walk to the soup aisle.

I’ll take some photos of some Campbell’s soup cans. 

Wouldn’t that be funny?

But there’s an old lady standing in front of the Campbell’s soup cans, and I can’t bring myself to do it. 

Having the camera on my person was stressful.

Trying to decide what to shoot. 

It was too much. 

Eventually I left the store.

Never did take a single photo.

Maybe tomorrow.